![]() ![]() ![]() Football live looks like a stuck snowplow backing up and going forward again one inch at a time. Football on TV gives you the close-up view, making every ten yards seem like an absolute contest of skill. If they’re on the other side, it’s big people mashing each other for five seconds once a minute, followed by whistles and an eventual punt. If you’re sitting where those teams are scrounging for yards, it’s only 99% worse than watching it on TV. These were upper-level end-zone seats, of course. What the ****? Poor people can already afford Top Ramen. I show up to the thing, it’s crazy early, in the cold, and half the people in line had cases of Top Ramen. We depended on food banks sometimes when I was little, nutrition and calories are the best. ![]() I bought a case of chili, because who doesn’t like chili? Plus beans are good nutrition and meat has lots of calories. Alright, I thought, that’s way cheaper than a regular ticket, and for a good cause. But they had a special deal bring a case of non-perishable food for donations to a food bank, get a free ticket. Vikings tickets are pretty expensive, so even though I was a fan of the team back then, I’d never been to one. Except that I’m right, and everyone else is wrong! Anyhoo: Football (NFL) ![]() And they are strictly my opinions, based on my experiences. These are the absolute entertainment values of a live sports-watching experience, ranked worst-to-first. That's actually why I'm publishing it, now - because if I keep sitting on it, it will only get longer. As Brandon said, it’s TwinkieTown, where we get to do whatever the hell we want (always the guiding principle, more so with no boss now!) So here’s my contribution. Greetings, fellow lockout readers! I’ve been sitting on this article for a few years, and figured now’s as good a time as ever to finish/publish it for your polite perusal. ![]()
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